Two Blonds Walk Into Middle Earth
by VampAmber
Summary: Once again, the names have been changed. Sorries. Also, sorries that Vanessa and Kimberly are kinda, umm... Unoriginal? This was my first Lord of the Rings fic, ok? If you wanna complain, do it in a review. *huffs off*
1. Unconsiousness can result in trips to Mi...

Author's notes: Yeah, yeah, I know. I've revised this one just a wee bit too much. But this time I have a REASON! A real one, too. The thing is, I could never get myself to write this cuz I no longer drool over Frodo the most. So now, I can write it again cuz Amber was replaced with Kimberly. So yays there. And just in case you were wondering, Merry ish my new drool toy. Merry and Dom... *drools*

Disclaimer: I don't own that much, but what I do own isn't much. Ooh, confusing, cool. Well, I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of the characters, the concept of Mary Sues (Which this is OBVIOUSLY), or any of the brand names and/or pop culture references in this fic or any of my others'. I do own Kimberly and Vanessa, even if they aren't very original, and I do own two different copies of the trilogy, and a BIG collection of romance novels, and I own this computer, and that purse, and the platforms, and the id VampAmber, and I own a few other things too, but I really do NOT feel like listing 'em at the moment. So be damn happy with this! And also, not making money offa this, yada yada yada (not that I could even if I was allowed, this fic isn't exactly my best work ever *cough*pieceofshit*cough*). 

A/N 2: The name may have been changed to help my creative juices to flow, but I'm still basically modeling Kimberly after myself. Though I am kinda making her a lot more blonde (aka stupid and unaware) than I really am. And Vanessa is still being slightly modeled after Whitney, but also a bit of my friend Brittanie now.

A/N 3: For those noticing my bad grammar, I don't use a beta cuz I'm too impatient, and I suck entirely at grammar (hence me taking a low writing class at Wright State in the fall). So if it really bothers you that much, email me at AOL and be my beta. I also kinda need one for a few of my other stories, so I need someone who has a LOT of free time to beta my stuffs, okies? 

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"Ninth time is better than the eighth, I swear," A blond girl walks out of the movie theater, talking to her friend. 

"I could watch that movie a million times, and it still wouldn't be enough," her blond friend says.

They walk past the poster for the movie, and it says "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". They stop and stare at the poster for a few minutes before moving on. 

"I swear Kimmy, Legolas just keeps getting cuter and cuter," the blond friend says, before sighing.

"Yeah Ness," Kimberly replies, " he is hot, but Frodo is pretty cute, too." They both stop, and sigh.

"My gawd," Vanessa says, "we've turned into drooling fan-girls." Kimberly sticks out her tongue and pants. Vanessa laughs, and rolls her eyes at Kimberly. Kimberly is usually like that, being a big ol' goof. 

"Oh, Legolas, you're the hottest guy on the planet, and you must marry me now," Vanessa says dramatically, putting her hands on her heart, and trying to look as drippy as possible.

Now it was Kimberly's turn to laugh. "Yeah Ness." She puts on a fan-girl type face. "Legolas, you are so cute, be my soul mate forever and ever." They both had to stop walking to laugh. After the laugh fest stopped, they resumed their walking. Kimberly looks into her purse, and pulls out an open box of Goobers. "Want some, Ness?" She hands the box over to Vanessa. She takes a few, then hands the box back to Kimberly.

"Why did you get so much candy?" Vanessa asks, after finishing her mouthful.

"When's the next time that theater's EVER going to have candy half price? That stuff was cheap, so I stocked up. Besides, you got a candy bar and some packages of Pop Rocks, so where are you to nag?" Kimberly grins, and throws more Goobers into her mouth.

"Big difference between all that stuff you got, compared to a Milky Way and Pop Rocks. I mean, when are you even going to need two boxes of Goobers, a bag of Lemon Heads, three bags of Sour Patch Kids, and two bags of mini chocolate bars?" Vanessa asks Kimberly, right before sticking her tongue out in a raspberry.

"Next time I need a sugar rush?" Kimberly grins, and shows off her chocolate covered teeth.

They walk for a few minutes before Kimberly stops and points to a store. "Look Ness, a used book store that's having a grand opening. Let's go in." Kimberly walks through the door before Vanessa even answers, so Vanessa just follows her.

They browse for a few minutes more before Kimberly calls to Vanessa from a row way in the back of the store. "It's a section devoted just to J. J. R. Tolkien. They even have the history of Middle Earth series." She starts grabbing up books left and right, checking prices to make sure that all the book really were a dollar, just like the sign said.

"Ooh, I was looking for a good copy of The Hobbit," Vanessa says, as she grabs a beautiful hardcover copy off the shelf. 

"Wow, let me see that. It looks gorgeous," Kimberly puts her hand on the cover, just as Vanessa opens the book. Kimberly looks up from the book just in time to see the shop fade away, and then to fall unconscious.

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The fellowship is traveling along the road, when suddenly, they see two blond girls fall out of the air. They hit the ground, and still don't wake up. They gather around the pile of girl, and Legolas pokes one of them with his bow. She stirs, muttering something about not wanting to go to school, but doesn't wake up. Legolas steps back and shrugs.

"We can't just leave them," Frodo says, knowing that the group already knew this. 

"Yeah, they could be eaten by orcs, or trolls, or some other awful creature." Sam shudders at the image of all the things that could get these poor girls.

Just then, one of the girls, the one with the streaked blond hair, rolls over and moans. She opens her eyes, blinks a few times, then says "Oh, I'm still asleep, okay," and grins. She rolls over and nudges the other blond girl. "Ness, hey Ness. Wake up. I'm having the coolest dream about the fellowship."

The other blond girl, Vanessa, then rolls over, and opens her eyes. "Ooh, neat, it's Legolas. Cool dream Kimmy." The two girls then do a double take worthy of a cartoon, and stare, slack-jawed, at the fellowship surrounding them.

"Ok, since when is the movie in 3D?" Kimberly asks, still staring, her eyes as wide as they can go.

"I have no idea, but they're doing it without the glasses." Vanessa's eyes are just as big as Kimberly's.

Then Merry, confused at these statements, steps towards the two strange blonds. They scream, and back up quickly, holding onto each other as if for dear life.

Aragorn then steps up. "We mean you no harm. Be at ease," he says, putting his hand out, showing that he was friendly.

Kimberly, unable to shut up, ever, says, "Yeah, try saying that without a sword in your belt and a group of equally-armed people behind you." She realizes that she's talking to the illusion, and shuts her mouth immediately.

The group looks at each other, and then Legolas puts down his bow, and Aragorn puts down his sword, and everybody else puts down their weapons. The girls stared at the pile of weapons for a few moments, then stood up. "Ok, so you come in peace then." Kimberly stares at Vanessa, and they both start giggling, for some completely unknown reason. 

Pippin, confused yet again by these strange girls, asks "Why are you laughing?"

Kimberly and Vanessa says, almost in unison, "Because I just went crazy." They look over at each other. "Not you, me," they say, once again almost in unison.

Pippin steps forward, and offers his suggestion, just to get them to quit talking in almost unison, cuz that's just plain freaky. "How about you both be crazy?" The two girls stare over at him, look at each other, and then say, for the last time hopefully, in unison, "Okay."

"Good, now with that settled, why don't you both tell us who you are, and what you were doing falling out of the sky like that?" Boromir says, finally showing up in the story.

Deciding that crazy didn't feel too much different from not crazy, Kimberly spoke for the both of them. "Well, I'm Kimberly, this is Vanessa, and we are so lost that we're in a book."

"Book?" pretty much everybody says, getting more confused by the minute.

"Yeah," Vanessa says, finally coming out of her 'way too weird' haze. "You guys are characters in a book, or three books actually, written by J. J. R. Tolkien. You don't already know that?" Now it was Vanessa's turn to look confused.

"How can we be in a book if we're right here?" the dwarf asked, the author making sure to put all the characters into the story.

"That, we're still trying to figure out." Kimberly brushes herself off, and Vanessa starts to, as well. That was when the author decided to butt in one last time to describe the main characters. 

Kimberly was somewhat tall, and with her five foot five height, she towered over the hobbits, well, almost. Her blond hair went slightly past her shoulders, almost but not quite in Jennifer Aniston's haircut. It was streaked, and obviously a dye job, not that any of the fellowship knew what that was. And she was wearing some of the strangest clothing they had ever seen. She had on a fitted tee that was made out of camaflouge material, and it had written in white letteing 'Ha! Now You Can't See Me'. Her jeans were dark blue, and she had shoes on that confused everybody. They were black platforms, two-inch heel at least, with straps across the feet, and small roses engraved in the leather. The one thing they did recognize was the thing around her neck. It was a necklace strung with blue and white stones and beads.

As for Vanessa, her five foot six height had her almost towering over the hobbits as well. She had blond hair that went down past her waist, and many strands were braided and colored green. She was wearing jeans like Kimberly, only hers were dyed green. Her white spagettii strap t-shirt was covered by her green jacket. It was a knitted-looking duster, that ended about mid-thigh. Her black leather work boots were somewhat covered in mud, because she had never bothered cleaning them off last time her and Kimberly had been stuck walking home in the rain. And around her neck was an almost exact replica of Kimberly's necklace, except where Kimberly's beads had been blue, Vanessa's were green. 

"You still sure we arn't just in an insane asylum somewhere?" Kimberly asks, coming to the only conclusion that could be possible.

"It must have been magic, it had to have been," Gandalf declares. 

"Magic? Okay, so wouldn't that mean that we're really here?" Vanessa's eyes grow large again, and Kimberly's eyes go all wide, too.

"And... I gotta think about this one," Kimberly says, before falling down with her back against a tree. Vanessa plops down next to her. They start up a whispered conversation.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Kimberly.

"Well, we can't exactly take the bus home," Vanessa.

"Lets just hijack a wizard, and tell him to send us home, now," Kimberly.

A look of relisiation comes over Vanessa. "Waaaaaaaait one minute here. Do you relise where we are? We're in Middle Earth." Vanessa's face twists into a maniacly happy face. She looks over at Kimberly.

"And?" Just then, Kimberly understands what Vanessa is hinting at. They look over at each other, and say, for the last time, the author swears, in unison, "Legolas!"

Legolas looks over at the odd girls, "What?"

They giggle. "Nothing," Kimberly says, as innocently as she can. They both grin innocently. 

"We decided to stay and not freak," Vanessa told Gandalf. "Promise."

"Yeah, promise," Kimberly says seconds later. Just then, Kimberly relizes that her purse had been thrown elsewhere when her and Vanessa had landed. "Where's my purse?" Vanessa shrugs her shoulders, and starts searching the ground for the missing messenger bag-looking purse. Then Kimberly looks over to where the mischevieous hobbits were, and spots her purse, with Merry and Pippin about to dig through it.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing in my purse?" Kimberly yells at the two curious hobbits. She yanks it away from them, just after they pull out a plastic bag filled with candy. Vanessa stares over at Kimberly, and she shrugs. "What? I don't want them to go loosing my library card or something." Kimberly grabs at the bag of candy, but misses as the hobbits catch it. 

Vanessa laughs, and Kimberly sticks her tongue out at her friend.

"What are these colorful things?" Pippin asks.

"And can you eat them?" Merry says immediately after.

"It's candy, and no, you can't eat it, cuz it's my candy. Give it." She tries to take the candy, but just rips open the bag, spilling a few Lemon Heads. Merry and Pippin grab the little sour balls before they even hit the ground. Pippin pops one into his mouth, and makes a sour face. Merry laughs at him, but then pops one into his own mouth anyway. He almost mimics the sour face Pippin used just a few seconds ago. 

Curious, Frodo walks over and pops one into his mouth. He spits it out a few seconds later. "What in the Middle Earth was that?" he asks, a disgusted look on his face.

"Lemon Heads. And they taste good, they're just an... acquired taste, is all." She reaches over to where her purse lies, and grabs a bag full of mini chocolate bars. "Now these aren't sour. It's chocolate. Really good chocolate, not that cheap crap." She unwraps a bar, and hands it over to Frodo. He puts it in his mouth, and makes an 'mmm' noise almost immediately. 

"Now that was good." He then proceeds to lick the melted chocolate off his fingers. All the others rush forward, wanting to try this 'new discovery'.

"Incredible," Gandalf mutters, licking the wrapper.

"Amazing," Legolas says through a mouthful of chocolate.

And as for the two hungry hobbits, they alternate eating the Lemon Heads and the chocolate. 

Kimberly rolls her eyes, and Vanessa sighs. "They have junk food for two seconds, and already they're pigging out." Vanessa giggles at this.

Pippin, wondering if Kimberly had any more food in her purse, snatches it from where it lay by her feet. He takes it back over to Merry, and they start rumaging through it again. They take out a tube of lip balm, and try to figure out how to get it open. Merry pulls on the cap by accident, and they imediately smell the strong scent of something yummy. Merry takes a bite out of it, but spits it out immediately. "That is NOT food!" he almost yells. Kimberly sees them and rushes over, taking her purse away from them again, making sure to keep an eye on it this time. She makes a disgusted face when she sees what Merry had done. "That was my favorite lip balm." She looks at them angrily. "You couldn't have ate the cherry one? No, you had to eat, or try to eat, the pink lemonade one." She takes the tube out of Merry's hand. This time she makes an even bigger disgusted face. "Eww, now its ruined. Here, if I give you chocolate covered peanuts, will you leave my purse alone?" She hands over the full box of Goobers, and can't help but laugh when they dig into the box to get the yummy goodness inside. She smiles, and say "All's forgiven," but the hobbits can barely hear her over the din of the hobbit feeding time.

She then looks over at Vanessa, who seems to be having a very animated discussion with Legolas. She walks over to them. 

"So then the bowstring broke, and it cut my neck all up. And I went home and told my mom that my bow broke, and I was so sad, and she was all like 'You're bleeding' and I hadn't even noticed until then," Vanessa finishes, and they both laugh. Kimberly rolls her eyes, and walks over to Aragorn. 

"Wern't you guys supposed to be going somewhere?" she asks Aragorn. 

"Ahh, yes, we had better get going, it will be night soon." Aragorn then starts walking the way they had been before the two blonds fell out of the sky. 

"Would you like to join us, Vanessa?" Legolas asks her.

"I'd love to," Vanessa replies, and grins wildly.

The others all catch up with Aragorn, save Frodo, who stays behind with Kimberly. "You can come too, if you'd like?" Frodo looks over at Kimberly as he asks.

"Why, I'd be delighted," Kimberly says, in a sarcastic tone which Frodo doesn't catch.


	2. Hobbit crushes and bad shoes

Author's note: The names have been changed to protect the innocent. *giggles* Ok, I just HAD to say that. My bad. Anyways, been writing like crazy lately, working on about four stories at once. That cuz I've been watching the movie, and I finally finished reading Fellowship of the Ring. And da-hamn, did that take a long time to do. I just hit the part where ya get ta meet Treebeard in The Two Towers. Woulda read farther but I almost fell asleep holding the book, so I put it down. Eep! Can't wait till September 15th! That's the day I get to move into my dorm room. Yays! First year at college, talk about scary as hell. *stops rambling and dances to the music, namely Candy by Mandy Moore* Yes, I have interesting tastes in music. At least it wasn't the Macarena (which I downloaded from KaZaA)! Shutting up now...

Disclaimer: I don't own stuff, I do own stuff, if you can't figure out which is which, then you're in trouble. I don't own Lord of the Rings, I don't own any of the LotR characters, I don't own the movie on dvd or video yet, I don't own all my pop culture references, and I don't own any brand name I use. I do own the soundtracks to Clerks and Mallrats, I own Kimberly and Vanessa (don't really think I want 'em that much though), I own a really cool red t-shirt that has Talk Show Material on it, I own my ideas, my thoughts, my fears, my insanity, and my psycho-babble. And I will soon own, or at least stay in, a dorm room, hopefully in Hamilton Hall, but maybe not. Gonna own a few textbooks soon, too. Yay! *can't wait to read her Psychology 105 and History 101 textbooks* I know I'm weird, duh.

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Kimberly stares up at the front of the group, where Ness and Legolas are still sharing stories. She frowns. Frodo looks over at her, watching her as she walks. She strode with purpose, her face forward, as if she always had a set destination in mind. But she also walked with grace. He still thought it was amazing that she could walk so quickly with those blocks of wood strapped to her feet. He decides then to ask her about them. 

"What kind of shoes are those, exactly? And how can you possibly walk so fast in them?" He smiles as she looks over at him. 

Her frown goes away when she turns to him. "They're called platform shoes, because it makes it almost like you're on a platform. And I've been wearing them for so long, that I can stay balanced, even when running." She smiles back at him, glad that somebody is paying attention to her.

They smile at each other, and then start telling stories to pass the time.

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Frodo was just getting to the part of the story where Bard slays the dragon Smaug with an arrow, when Kimberly started wincing slightly with every step. Step. Wince. Step. Wince. Frodo stops his story when he notices that Kimberly is wincing. "Kimberly, why are you in pain? Are my stories that bad?" Frodo asks, concerned for the girl from another world.

"No, your stories are amazing," she says, even though she's already read The Hobbit. "It's just that my shoes are starting to hurt my feet. Nothing too serious." She smiles, to show him it doesn't hurt too much.

They start walking again, and Kimberly keeps wincing. Soon, she's making a slight noise with each step. After a few more minutes, she mumbles under her breath after each step "I hate these shoes."

"Kimberly, if they hurt so much, why not just take them off?" Frodo inquires.

"But I need shoes," she says, before looking down at Frodo's bare hobbit feet. "Or maybe I don't. Hold up a sec while I get rid of these pain-makers." She bends over quickly, and deftly takes the shoes off. She looks at them, wondering what she could possibly do with them. She spots Merry, and hands them over to him. "Here, you need the height a lot more than I do." Merry accepts the shoes, but Pippin runs by quickly and snatches them out of Merry's hands. He puts them on even quicker. He stands up after several attempts, and takes only two steps before falling flat on his face. Kimberly laughs, joined by all the others, save Pippin, who is quickly taking the shoes back off again. Kimberly shakes her head, "Men."

"Um, Pip, you can keep them," Merry mutters to Pippin before laughing again. Kimberly walks over to Pippin, and takes the shoes, "It's okay Pip, most people I know can't balance on them, either. I'm just lucky, I guess." She smiles at him, and walks back over to Frodo. She takes the strap of the left shoe, and whirls it around before slinging it far into the forest. She's about to toss the right one when Frodo tugs at her sleeve.

"You might want to keep that. It could be useful as a weapon." Kimberly nods, and slings the strap over her shoulder instead. 

"It was fun to throw, though." She grins wickedly. Frodo giggles, and the fellowship plus two moves on.

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It's almost nightfall when they set up camp. The fire burns brightly as the fellowship finish up supper. Kimberly is looking down at her feet, face saddened because they were so battered and bruised. She touches at one of the small blisters, and winces with pain. Kimberly looks over at Vanessa, who at the moment, is completely enthralled by whatever it is Legolas is saying. She sighs. Frodo notices her discomfort, and moves over to where she is sitting. 

"Are you okay Kimberly," Frodo asks her after he sits down next to her.

"My feet don't exactly like me at the moment." She winces again. She notices the look of confusion on the hobbit's face, and explains. "My feet aren't really used to this much walking, in bad shoes or barefoot. Very unpleasent." She leans back against the tree. She sighs, then looks over at Frodo. "You sure are taking this well for a guy who gets two girls from some other planet or dimension or whatever dumped on your quest. Bad enough about the ring, but now us? I don't think I'd act half as kind as you." She hopes that he gets the message she is sending. The words between the lines were supposed to read clearly "Thank you".

Frodo, being always a quick one to catch on, answers, "You're welcome, Kimberly." He pauses, then continues. "It's not really that bad. Having you here has been fun."

Kimberly blushes, then notices that he said "You" and not "You two" or "You guys". She blushes all over again, and gets up, trying to find a distraction. She spots Merry and Pippin looking as if they were about to do some trick or something. Kimberly grasps the opportunity. She fakes a sigh of annoyance. "What are those two up to this time?" she wonders aloud. She gets up, and shakes her head when Frodo moves to get up with her. "Don't worry, I think I can handle them." She walks over, and holds in her sigh of relief until she is out of sight. She lets it out, and walks past where Vanessa and Legolas are sitting, still discussing yet more stories. 'I guess when a guy's 3,000 years old, he racks up a lot of stories,' she thinks, and continues onward, where the two hobbits are now giggling.

She sneaks up to them quietly, and leans over, saying "What do you think you're doing?" in a very teacher-like voice. They both jump, and hide their hands behind their backs. "Nothing," they reply, sounding innocent. A pebble drops out of Pippin's hand, and the three stare at it as it falls. "Nothing, eh?"

"We were just going to throws pebble at Gimli's feet while he's practicing with his axe to scare him, nothing else Ms. Kimberly," Merry says, afraid that Kimberly would do something bad. 

Instead, she started gathering pebbles herself. "Cool. Can I join?" she says, a wicked grin growing on her face, the scene with Frodo almost forgotten. Pippin and Merry grin wickedly as well. "Sure!"

Kimberly looks over at where the dwarf is practicing with his axe. She looks up and spots a tree. "There," she points at the tree above Gimli, "Hit the leaves. They'll fall all over him, and he won't even realize why." She giggles, and starts to take aim at a large bunch of leaves right about Gimli's head. Merry and Pippin share a look that basically says "She's good." Then they take aim. Kimberly throws. The leaves fall on Gimli, and he looks up at the tree, not finding anything that could've made the leaves fall. Pippin and Merry throw their pebbles too. More leaves, more confusion on Gimli's behalf. Stifled giggles. Pippin the throws a pebble that hits a tree limb. It makes a small noise, and Gimli looks up at the branch, then starts searching for the culprit. Kimberly whispers "Run." And they do, giggling like mad idiots.

Kimberly runs over to Vanessa, tripping a few times because she is laughing so hard. "Hey, Leggy, could you excuse us for a sec? I just hafta tell Ness something," she gets out, before she starts laughing again. Legolas nods, and Kimberly and Vanessa scoot over. Legolas stares after them. "Leggy?" he mutters. Kimberly whispers into Vanessa's ear what her and the hobbits did. They both burst out laughing when Kimberly finishes. And to make it even more laughable, Gimli comes to the fire then, looking very angry, glaring at the two hobbits, who were sitting off to the side, still giggling.

The two girls look over at where Aragorn is sitting, holding his head as if he had a great headache. "Ok, I'm definitely starting to feel sorry for him," Kimberly says, "Pippin and Merry, and now me. Tsk tsk." Kimberly shakes her head in pity, and Vanessa laughs. Kimberly yawns, and Vanessa follows suit, seeing as yawns are always contagious.

Kimberly walks over to Aragorn, and taps him on the shoulder. He looks up at her, "What?" 

"Well, I was just wondering. Where do we sleep tonight?" She asks, hoping that there'll be an inn or something like that near here.

"On the ground," he tells her. She gulps, then nods. She walks over to Vanessa, and tells her what she was told.

"On the ground? Ok, umm, it'll be like camping, roughing it." Vanessa grimaces. Kimberly nods. "Yeah, just like camping. Hopefully." They went over and grabbed a blanket each, and found a not so hard peice of ground. "Like camping," Kimberly mutters under her breath.

Vanessa gets settled quickly, asleep within ten minutes. But Kimberly has a bit of trouble. She tosses and turns, then tosses some more. Finally, she takes the blanket off and puts it under her head as a pillow. It's almost an hour before she falls asleep.

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Kimberly wakes shortly after the sun rises. She rises herself, and groans. Her everything hurts from her night of bad sleep. She notices that everybody else is already awake and sitting by the fire, eating breakfast. She groans again, and walks over to them. "Bad night Kimmy?" Vanessa asks, sitting next to Legolas, eating something that looked like hard rice cakes. Kimberly picks a leaf out of her extremely messed up hair, and says to Vanessa "I look that bad?" Vanessa nods, and Kimberly rushes over to where her purse is. She grabs her brush and starts pulling at the many tangles in her hair.

A few minutes later, she walks back over to the fire. Her hair is brushed, if not better looking. The ends stick out, and if foofs up at places. "Of all the times to be without a curling iron," she grumbles, staring at her bad hair day in the little mirror attached to the brush. 

She accepts the hard patty of food-stuffs from Sam, and sits down next to Vanessa. Frodo scoots closer to Kimberly, and Vanessa winks at her, giggling. Kimberly glares back. She bites into her food patty thing, and finds that it's as hard as a rock. "What the hell is this stuff?" Kimberly yells out. "I nearly broke a tooth on it! It's as hard as a rock!" 

"It's cram, and it's the only food we have," Sam tells her. She sticks out her tongue in disgust, and went to work gnawing on the hard piece of cram. 

Ten minutes later, Kimberly had still yet to make a noticeable dent in the piece of cram. She throws it down onto the ground. "I give up. That is not real food. I'm gonna find me a fruit tree or something." She gets up and walks away. Frodo gets up and follows her.

"Ooh, apple tree," Kimberly says to herself about a minute later. She walks over to it, and jumps to reach the lowest apple. She grazes the bottom of it, but can't quite grab it. Frodo watches her jump again, and steps out when she lands. "Need some help?" he asks her. 

Kimberly jumps, but not after the apple. "Frodo, I didn't know you were here. Actually, why are you here?" She asks. Frodo looks sheepish, and looks down. "Well, I didn't want you to get hurt or lost."

Kimberly smiles, no longer suspicious. "That's sweet. Yeah, I could use some help." He steps over to where she is, and she lifts him up onto her shoulders. "How many apples should I get?" Frodo asks down to Kimberly. "About twelve or so should be enough. At least one for everybody." He picks the apples, and hands the down to Kimberly, one by one. Kimberly puts them in the bottom of her shirt, which she had made into a pouch. When Frodo had picked about fourteen apples, Kimberly helps him down, holding her shirt-pouch with one hand. She hands him an apple as they set off back to camp, and takes one for herself. "Real food," she mutters, biting into the apple joyfully.

They walk into the clearing where they had set up camp the night before, Kimberly announcing that they had apples. The others dug in joyfully, forgetting about their half-finished cram cakes.

"Looks like our apples saved breakfast," Kimberly comments. "You're the one that found the tree, I only helped with getting them down," Frodo tells her. Kimberly blushes, something which seemed to be becoming a trend when she was around Frodo. She takes a big bite of apple so that she doesn't have to answer.

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A few hours later, the fellowship plus two blonds were yet again walking through the forest. "Sure is a lotta forest around here," Kimberly whispers to Vanessa, who is now traveling in the back of the group with her and Frodo. Legolas is back there as well. "All the better to hide hot blond wood elves," Vanessa replies, glancing over at Legolas with a very interesting look in her eyes. Kimberly nods. "True, true."

Vanessa then changes the subject. In a more whispered tone than before, Vanessa asks Kimberly "So, what's up with you and your hobbit-shadow?"

Kimberly glares at Vanessa. "Don't insult him. He's just being, umm, sweet. Nothing more," Kimberly emphasizes the word 'nothing'. She glances over to Frodo, making sure that he hadn't heard what she said. He hadn't, either that, or he was the best actor Kimberly had ever seen. 

Vanessa continued the conversation line by saying "He's really got a crush on you. I can see it. And it's sweet, too." Vanessa grins, and Kimberly glares back. "He does not," Kimberly says, not in the mood for an argument over whether the hobbit had a crush on her. Although he did follow her around an awful lot. No, no crush. Vanessa grins even wider. "You got a crush on him, too," she whisper-yelled. "Do not!" Kimberly whisper-yells back. "Just because he's cute, and sweet, and caring, and has the most adorable little smile...." Kimberly trails off. "Do not," she resorts to.

Vanessa grins, all-knowingly, "The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem."

Kimberly gives in to her friends' scrutiny. "Ok, fine, so maybe I have a little crush, doesn't mean anything. It's not like it could go anywhere. We are going back home sooner or later." Kimberly frowns, and walks away from Vanessa. 

"Is something wrong with Kimberly?" Legolas asks, coming up behind Vanessa. "Not much, just a little denial, is all," Vanessa answers, smiling.

"It's about her feelings for the little brown-haired hobbit, isn't it?" he asks, surprising Vanessa with his observations. "You can tell," she says, almost slack-jawed, she was so surprised. She had thought she was the only one who could see Kimberly's and Frodo's obvious feelings for each other. "I thought guys never noticed those sort of things." 

"I'm an elf. I notice a lot of things that most people miss." He grins at her, and she grins right back.

"I can't believe she weaseled a confession out of me," Kimberly muttered under her breath. She started walking faster. "I mean, it's not like it's such a big deal, I get a lot of crushes." she says, still complaining to herself. 'But none that ever like you back,' her brain reminds her. "Damn, I was hoping to not think that." She shakes her head quickly, trying to get rid of whatever that voice was. Common sense, her heart, whatever it was, she hopes it'll go away.

"Were you talking to someone Kimberly?" Frodo says, coming up behind her, almost a repeat of Vanessa and Legolas. Kimberly sighs. "No, I was just talking to myself," she says, and looks away quickly. She wasn't going to think about the newly discovered crush, it would go away in a few days anyway. If she did think about it, she'd start getting all tongue-tied around the little hobbit, and then everyone would know. She shook her head again, ridding it of pretty much all thought.


	3. I'd still whoop ya

Author's Notes: Holà again peoples. Hehehe, almost had a mini-balrog. Just spotted. I had written Galndalf. Miss Cam would've killed me! Anyways, yet another revised chapter. Hope ya like it. And I truely am sorry about this turning into a total Mary Sue. Might make a joke of it soon, have her name be Kimberly Sue or something I dunno. Anyways, I'd like to ask if anybody even likes this fic any more. Well? Should I even bother continuing it? Or is it too unimaginative? Cuz it was kinda my first LotR ficcy, and I was going off of what would be easy. And it's pretty much lost all it's meaning without me and Whit bein' in it. *sighs* Anyway yet again, hope you enjoy(ed) it. Buh bye.

Disclaimer: I do and don't own everything. Did I confuse you? Goodies! Anyways (I really seem to like that word lately), I don't own: Lord of the Rings, any of it's characters, any LotR action figures, a Merry t-shirt, FFN, the NeoPets site, or a pet snake named Constrictor. I do own: Kimmy and Ness, a copy of The Sims, and The Sims: Living Large, one of the posters for FotR that's from the theater, the id VampAmber, a green zafara named GwenAlyssa and a blue kougra named AquaHobbitKitty, and a size five shop, and I will soon own a website, as soon as Whitters gets it ready for me, and gets her domain. I also own a '92 Plymouth Dodge, colored Black Cherry, and a lot of cute things that go in it, including a bumper sticker that says 'Out of my mind, be back in two'. And I don't own a '67 Shelby GT500, light gray with darker gray stripes down it. Wish I did though, cuz Elanor was SWEET!

A/N 2: Anybody who spots a mistake where it says amber instead of Kimberly, or Whitney instead of Vanessa, please tell me, okies? Cuz I can never tell if I caught 'em all.

A/N 3: Done now... *sings along to Bitch by Meredith Brooks*

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Frodo was having an, err, an interesting conversation with Kimberly. First, she was talking to herself, then she all but refused to look at him. He tries to talk to her, but she keeps looking away. "Umm, ok, I'll be walking up there if you need me then," he says, trying to get away from the confusing girl.

He catches up with Sam, who was walking a little farther up from them. He gets into stride with Sam, and looks down at his feet. "Something wrong, Mr. Frodo?" Frodo sighs, and tells Sam his problems with the girl, Kimberly. "I just don't understand," he finishes. "She seemed to like me before. What could I have done to upset her?" Sam shakes his head in sympathy. "I may not have much experience in matters such as these, Mr. Frodo, but I do know one thing. All women have their odd quirks. Just give them space when needed, and all should turn out fine." Frodo beams at Sam, and thanks him for his advice. He then moves forward, knowing that everything would turn out the way it should, in the end. He hopes.

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Kimberly avoids Frodo for as long as she can. She thinks about everything that has happened, and keeps thinking. 'Nothing would come of it,' she reminds herself many times. 'You don't know what you're feeling,' her head kept screaming. Any whimper of protest she pushes down, as far as it will go. By now, she is walking with anger in her steps. Anger at herself, for falling for Frodo, anger at Frodo, for falling for her first, anger at the universe, for putting her in this situation. 

Much later, they set up camp. Kimberly drifts off half way through dinner, saying that she isn't hungry. She finds a log facing away from the fire, and sits on it, staring up at the stars in the sky. Vanessa notices her friend's odd behavior, knowing full well that this wasn't just one of Kimberly's moods, but something serious. She makes a move to go after her, but Legolas grabs her arm. "She must work out her own problems, Vanessa. Your help would only hurt," he tells her. She looks over at Kimberly once more, then sits back down, hoping that her trust in what Legolas had said would be correct. Vanessa sighs, and leans her head against Legolas's shoulder. "I just don't know, Legolas. I've never seen her like this. She looks like if she doesn't get rid of her bottled up emotions soon, that she'll blow. Even her crush on Jason Henson didn't turn her into what she is now," her doubt filling her voice, making it very clear that she was worried. Legolas stroked Vanessa's hair, saying softly "Time will tell all. Now we must be patient, and hope that she will know what to do when the time is right. Feelings are different for every person, and ways of dealing with pain are also different. All should turn out well, I can feel it." Vanessa sighs again at his words, finally realizing that this man, this Legolas, was far from the character on the screen. 'Looks like I'm in the same boat as Kimberly now. Totally in love with a guy from a book,' she thinks to herself, leaning her weight up against Legolas's body. "I just hope Kimberly can learn to deal," she says out load, not noticing till it was too late that she did. Legolas looks down at her, and smiles, understanding fully. "Like you?" he teases. Vanessa just sighs, and replies, "Yeah." She looks over at her friend, having hope in her.

Kimberly sits on the log, hunched over. Her head had not shut up since that morning. Spouting every excuse for and against, it had given her a headache. She lay her hand on her forehead, then wipes the hair from her face. Doing this, she doesn't even notice Frodo's soft approach. He sits down next to her, and she just hunches more. Frodo speaks up, breaking the silence Kimberly had formed around herself. "I'm not exactly sure on what I did to upset you Kimberly, but whatever it was, I'm sorry." He looks over at her to see if she had heard. She just sighs. "You didn't do anything Frodo," she says, without turning towards him. "Then why are you acting this way towards me?" He asks her. "I'm not acting any way," she says, sounding defensive now. Finally, she looks over at him. "Could you... Could you just go away for a little while? I'd kinda like to be alone." She turns her back towards him, and he stands up and starts to leave, his heart very slowly breaking. A small tear runs down Kimberly's cheek, as she remembers them picking apples. She had been happy then. They had been happy then. "Wait," she calls to Frodo, who was still slowly walking away. He stops, and turns to her, and rushes back when he sees the tears in her eyes. He pulls her into a hug, while her wet tear drops splash onto his shirt collar. "I'm sorry about the way I've been treating you," she said through the tears. "You did absolutely nothing wrong. It was all me. I'm sorry," she says again, Frodo still holding her, starting to stroke her hair. Frodo feels a few tears coming to his eyes. "It wasn't just your fault, it was mine. I just liked you so much, I couldn't help the way I acted." He pauses to wipe the tears on his shirt sleeve, then continues. "It's ok if you feel nothing back, I would understand." He makes a move to get up, but Kimberly holds him back. "No, that's not it at all. It wasn't my lack of feelings making me act that way, it was the presence of feelings. I just don't do well with these kinds of feelings. I fall in and out of crushes so easily, and the one time that I thought it was love, it turned out the guy was only dating me because I reminded him of a girl he liked that wouldn't date him. I thought it was love, but I was only the substitution." The story only made her cry harder. Frodo starts whispering in her ear, "Shh, it's alright, I'm here, shh." She starts calming down at these words, and pulls out of the hug. "How can you care for me this much, when we've only known each other for less than two days?" She asks, puzzled at his immense feelings. "I couldn't really tell you, for I do not know myself. But one thing I do know is that these feelings are real." She looks up at him, her grayish-blue eyes filled with tears. "Really?" she asks, amazed by what this small hobbit had just said to her. He nods, and she reaches out to hug him. But they end up kissing instead. A long, deep kiss, one that searches your soul, shows you each other as you had never seen before. They pull out of it to take a breath, and he looks over at Kimberly. Her hair was falling into her face, her tear filled eyes were puffy and reddish looking, but as far as Frodo was concerned, he had never seen anyone as beautiful.

The others look on at the new couple, politely turning away after they saw that the kiss was going to last awhile. Vanessa sighs. "I knew they could work things out. Or actually, you did. I'm so glad for her," Vanessa says to Legolas. He kisses the top of her head, "Yes. She should feel much better, now that her feelings were made known." He puts his arm around Vanessa's shoulders, and she sighs once again, this time from contentment. 

Kimberly looks over at the little hobbit, and starts crying all over again. "Why are you crying again Kimberly?" Frodo asks, worried. Kimberly sniffles, then looks over at him. "It's almost too much to believe, that I found someone so much like my perfect guy. You're my Prince Charming, my Mr. Right, my knight in shining armor." Kimberly spouts, quoting more than a few lame cliches. Frodo just looks at her, and nods along. But he was confused. He wasn't a prince, or named Frodo Right, and he definitely wasn't a knight. She went on, in words that he could understand. "I mean, you're perfect. Everything about you, it's just," She falters, trying to find the right words. "It's almost like this was a predestined thing. Soul mates or something." She shakes her head. "Naw, I've just been reading too many L. J. Smith books." She stops for a moment, trying to gather up the courage to say what she wanted to. She gulps, and goes on, hesitant sounding now. "Frodo, what I'm saying is, in my less than eloquent way, is that," She coughs, and gulps again. She clears her throat, and says, in a very fast way so that the words are almost blurred together, but not quite, "Frodo, I think I'm in love with you." She then looks down at the ground, waiting for him to reply. She then looks up nervously, afraid to see reject on his face, even though deep down, she knew she wouldn't see it. Their eyes meet, and Frodo leans in, and whispers in her ear, "Well, Kimberly, I think I'm in love with you as well." He then kisses the side of her head, and her body greatly relaxes.

The others once again look at the couple. After a few low "Aww"s, they start looking around at each other, trying to decide who had to tell the love birds that it was way past time to go to sleep. Everybody looks over at Vanessa, and she is unofficially nominated for the job. She grimaces and stares down at Legolas. He nods, and she walks over to Kimberly and Frodo, who had just started sharing their second kiss. Vanessa lets out an annoyed sigh, and starts to tap her feet. She waits for over a minute before she taps the two on their shoulders. They break the kiss and look at Vanessa, the confusion on Frodo's face mirroring Kimberly's. Vanessa motions to where the blankets were set out, ready for the night. "Sleepy time you guys. Cuz you can't stay up all night smooching, you'd be way too tired in the morning." Vanessa walks off then, letting the two decided what to do. Kimberly yawns, and that makes the decision final. They both get up, Kimberly helping Frodo when he stumbled. They walk over to the blankets, still holding hands. Only breaking the hold once, to lay out the blankets, they lay down next to each other, Frodo snuggling up to Kimberly. She falls asleep within minutes. Vanessa looks over at Legolas, who is laying down blankets for him and her. "She's never fallen asleep that fast. One time, we stayed up for over twenty-four hours at a slumber party, and even then it took her almost a half an hour to fall asleep." She looks worriedly over at her friend, concern written all over her face. "No need to worry Vanessa. Love does strange things to people. Maybe that's all she really needed to fall asleep," Legolas tells her. She still looks worried, so Legolas walks over and gives her a good night kiss. A goofy grin appears on her face, and all her worries literally fly out of her mind. "Yeah," she says, not even sure on what they had been talking about before. She falls asleep, wearing that same grin for hours.

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Kimberly wakes up the next morning with hair in her face. She reaches up to brush the hair aside, and realizes it's not her own. It's not semi-long and blond, but short, brown, and curly... Oh, it was Frodo. That's right. She had fallen asleep next to Frodo. Frodo stirs under her then, and she looks down at him. "Hi there," she says sweetly to him, and kisses the top of his head.

He yawns then, and almost hits her in the face. "Ooh, sorry," he says quickly. She giggles, and starts to get up. She, of course, stumbles, being the graceful creature that she was. This makes Frodo giggle. They walk over to where the others are sitting around the fire, eating breakfast. They all glance up as the two walk over, knowing looks on their faces. Kimberly is confused, until she remembers last night. The kiss. Or kisses, plural. Apparently, they had had an audience.

Making what she assumed was a scary face, her and Frodo sat down. "Peeping Toms, the whole lotta ya," she said in an angry voice, just before dissolving in giggles. Everybody just stared at her. "What's so funny?" Frodo asks her. Through her giggles, Kimberly shrugs her shoulders and says "I have absolutely no idea." Which just made everybody stare more. Then Vanessa starts giggling. Legolas stares over at her, not sure what to do. The hobbits join in then, followed by Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli. Aragorn looks over at Gandalf, the only person left other than himself that wasn't laughing. "Stress relief?" Gandalf shrugs his shoulders, smiling. Aragorn just rolls his eyes.

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After the odd fit of giggling that everybody had seemed to fall to, the fellowship finished up breakfast and set off on their journey once again. Per usual, the others walked ahead of Vanessa, Kimberly, Frodo and Legolas. Kimberly swung her shoe back and forth, which she had been carrying since the day they had landed. "I'm bored," she whines. 

Vanessa looks over at her, "We could play I Spy or something." 

Kimberly smiles at her friend. "Sounds fun. Cuz we can't exactly play the license plate game or anything like that." She grins goofily. "Who goes first?" She looks over at Legolas, just then realizing that him and Frodo probably had no idea what they were talking about. "Yeah, oops, almost forgot. I Spy is this game back home." Her and Vanessa then proceed to explain the rules to Legolas and Frodo, and to Sam, Pippin, and Merry, who had wandered to the back when they heard a game was to be played.

"I'll go first, because I know how to play best," Vanessa says, bragging. Kimberly sticks her tongue out at this comment. Vanessa looks around, then says "I spy, with my little eye, something silver." The other players all look around. "Aragorn's sword!" Sam shouts out. Vanessa nods, "Yep, now it's your turn."

This went on for a little while, everybody eventually getting a turn, except for poor Pippin. Kimberly notices this, and says "You guys, we should let Pip have a turn." Merry, who's turn it was, nods. "Go ahead Pip, you try," Kimberly says, and smiles at the little hobbit. Pippin stares around at the surrounding forest, a look of concentration plastered on his face. Suddenly, his face lights up. "I spy, with my hobbit eye, something big and scary." Kimberly looks over at where Pippin had been looking. "Orcs! Coming right for us!" She screams. The others all get ready for battle while Pippin smiles and nods. "That's what I spied."

Swords are drawn, battle cries yelled, and many another type of cry let out. "Oh, shiiiiiiii......" Kimberly yells out as an orc starts chasing her. "Stay the hell away from me you nasty orc," she yells, before tripping on a tree root. She jumps up just in time to miss getting killed by it's blade. Not knowing what else to do, she swung her shoe at the orc, knocking it out. She grins, and goes after the first orc she sees, swinging her shoe around, letting out a Xena war cry. Vanessa, on the other hand, fares much better than Kimberly. After the orc attack had started, she grabbed Legolas's extra bow and arrows, and started firing. 

The orcs all killed or unconscious, the fellowship looks into the woods, trying to figure how the threat had snuck up on them. Wiping the sweat off her forehead, Kimberly grins and says "Now that was fun." Vanessa looks over, rolling her eyes at her friend. "Kimmy," she says, "you are such a Gabrielle." Kimberly just looks smug. "Just call me Kimberly, warrior princess," she says jokingly. She looks down at her platform shoe, now stained with orc blood. The strap was almost just hanging on by a thread. "I think I killed my shoe Ness," Kimberly says, grimacing. 

Aragorn walked up behind Kimberly and Vanessa. "Well done girls. And you," he points to Kimberly," I'll just have to teach you how to use a sword, seeing as how your current 'weapon' seems to look the worse for wear." Kimberly just smiles wider at that. "Cool." Aragorn walks off, and Kimberly leans over to Vanessa, and whispers into her friend's ear, "I get to use a sword," in a sing-song whisper. "That is just, neat," she says using a fake British accent, not in a whisper this time. 

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A few hours later, they were settled down in a clearing, even though it was still light. Vanessa and Legolas were off practicing their archery, and every so often, the others at the camp heard Legolas giving compliments to Vanessa. Aragorn was teaching Kimberly how to use a sword, which she was learning somewhat quickly. Not that she was an expert or anything, but she had already learned some of the basics. 

Kimberly charges towards Aragorn, sword raised high. Letting out yet another battle cry, she rams her sword down, a loud clash and sparks as it hits Aragorn's sword. In a whirl of motion, they dodged and thrusted, making loud clashing noises as the swords hit repeatedly. Then, suddenly, Kimberly no longer held her sword, it having been knocked out of her hands. Aragorn stops, and says to her "You're not holding it correct. We'll have to work on it. Take a rest, you look as if you need it." And she did. Her hair was all over her face, and she was sweating just a smidgen, her breathing sounding almost labored.

She nods to Aragorn as she picks up her sword, and goes to sit on a log. She flops down, letting all the air out of her lungs. Wiping the sweat off of her forehead, she grins as Frodo sits down next to her. "You were doing very well there," he comments. She just grins more, trying to catch her breath. "Gimme a few more hours, and I'll be able to whoop Sauron himself," she says teasingly. They both giggle at that remark.

It was then that Vanessa and Legolas came back from their shooting inanimate objects with arrows spree. Kimberly calls over to her friend, "Hey Ness, did you kill all the bad, mean trees?" Vanessa just laughs. Kimberly grins, and calls again "You do realize that I'm gonna kick your bow bearing butt once I learn how to use this sword, right?" Her and Frodo laugh. "Oh yeah?" Vanessa calls back. "That's only if you can get close to me before I stick an arrow in your arm." Her and Legolas grin at that. Kimberly just replies by making a face at her friend. Whispering down to Frodo, she says, "She's just jealous that I'd beat her." They both giggle.

Kimberly gets up then, because Aragorn is starting to look impatient, a look he was getting a lot of practice with, what with Kimberly around. Kimberly grins, and tells Aragorn "Beware the wrath of Kimmy," before starting the sword fight anew.

Legolas looks over at Vanessa, asking "How did she learn the sword so fast?" Vanessa looks over to him, and explains "She's a Xena addict." At Legolas's puzzled look, she sets him down, and explains to him about Xena, and tv for that matter. "It's a tv show. And tv is, kind of like, umm, a play. Yeah. Xena is this play series that has a Warrior Princess and her sidekick Gabrielle fighting evil things. Pretty good show, actually." Legolas nods his head, understanding it as much as could be expected. 

With a sudden commotion, Merry and Pippin rush out of the woods. "We found mushrooms!" They cry out. Kimberly and Aragorn stop her lessons, and Kimberly walks over to Vanessa, Legolas, and Frodo. "Looks like we'll be having mushrooms for dinner then. Cool." The others just giggle, as they all walk off to gather mushrooms. 


End file.
